In retrospect and hindsight (which is always 20/20), I'm thankful that others were able to say what should have been said. Those too close oftentimes don't see...I was too close and did not see. Took me some time after backing away...with my tail between my legs in rejection. My vision is much clearer on several levels. However, still finding it difficult to deal with one situation. The hurt was more profound than it should have been...in fact, there should have been no hurt involved given the circumstance from the very beginning. What the mind says, often the heart does not feel; sort of an emotional dissonance rather than a cognitive one. At least that's what I'm telling myself to get through this. Much in keeping with my values and beliefs however, I'm able to understand that the path has been cleared for a purpose...a person...who has been persistent and devoted from the very start. A clear and true purpose of love and devotion. Enduring what I have before him when it comes to matters of the heart. A man in love...with me and now me, in love with him. Do I see or feel this waning even at the prospect of months in front of us before we're together again? No. We both feel and see a strengthening in the bond.
Had a dream last night with my step mother in it. I asked her if we could keep in contact...I woke before she answered. I closed my eyes to force myself back to sleep and dreamstate...only to feel a great sense of loss at the failed attempt.