The anticipation is gone and the sorrow has turned to renewed promise. Playing it close to the hip and safe is always a good plan. Have decided to seek assistance with my issues of boundaries. There is a friendship I would like to continue, but don't see that as a possibility unless I do something different. Healthy relationships are the key and I never had the tools to accomplish that before now. I've always had two different selves - a public one and a private one. The public one has allowed me to function at work, in college, and with friends. The private one wore a mask to deal with the non-nurturing dysfunctional family in which I was born and raised. Hard truth, but real.